Thursday, March 31, 2011

Merge Dammit!!!!

I know that the drivers of Nova Scotia do not really know what the word 'MERGE' means and how it affects the stream of life in a city. Many times I have said, "if only we could throw some of these drivers into a big city and show them what it is to really merge properly", the majority of them wouldn't last after the first on ramp, stuck in the middle of the road, holding their hands over their ears and repeating the same words over and over, "..help me, help me, help me..". If only they could merge into traffic as well as they frantically 'merge' in front of people in a line up at Tim Horton's or knock me over at the trinket table at the flea market!!
  Take these defining words and see how well you fit into the category of a good merger (and I'm not talking about the Survivor kind). Combine, coalesce, unite gradually, blend, swallowed up, absorbed, fuse..scanning these quickly you'll notice there is nothing that resembles these words...Stop abruptly, braking, waiting, scared, can't see over steering wheel, wall-eyed, whiplash, make up your F%$&*@# mind. It's a ramp you're driving on for a reason! The purpose of the extra pavement in front of you is to gain speed before MERGING into moving traffic. If there wasn't a ramp, yes, it would be a stop sign and you would have to wait. Maybe a good idea would be to have at the end of every merge ramp a huge pit that you'd fall in or an ocean to careen into. If all you're interested in is taking it from behind, it might hurt but at least you won't have to involve the cops or an insurance company if you merge properly.
  That was a little harsh, but those moments are very frustrating for a good driver. I actually clap my hands when someone merges properly. Yes, I physically applaud while driving when I witness good, competent skills on the highway because of how poorly the masses drive. Which leads me to wonder, what is being taught in these driving schools now anyway?! We used to complain about old people and their crazy habits, but 9 times out of 10 the person pissing me off now is a young punk, either texting, listening to the melodic sounds of his giant muffler or looking for his eardrums on the floor as he 'BOOM BOOOOOM's' by, his side mirrors vibrating off his car. And please don't get me started on the differences between drivers from our very culturally diverse city. I have traveled to many countries and have seen the chaos first hand, I love it, but it seems in friendly old Nova Scotia that no matter who we are or where we're from, we tend to drive with the same politeness we most often give off as Canadians.......maybe the sign should read, "MERGE...Please".....

  

2 comments:

Jan Morrison said...

uh bones? I think you have become Andy Rooney!! Of course, I'm the world's worst merger. My life revolves around avoiding difficult merges. I'm just not a concillatory sort of person.

Anonymous said...

You sound like a pretty experienced driver JDog .. who taught you how to drive??