Flying-Part 1

I love flying! Ever since I was a wee lad, flying has been in my blood. My grandfather on my mother's side was a war pilot and ended up being a Major General in the Canadian Air Force. I didn't take advantage of the experience and knowledge he had and realized after it was too late that I should have looked for work in the aviation world anyways. I still can, but as a 6' foot 8" dude, I won't be piloting any plane soon, as cockpit instruments don't take kindly to elbows and knees. As well, Laura loves to remind me that at the tender age of 43, while holding my paperbacks out in front of me at about 3 feet to read properly, seeing the altimeter or vertical speed indicator (important gauges) could be a nightmare waiting to happen for a plane full of passengers.
    So, rather than dwell on the fact I won't be piloting a plane, I take to reading, watching and thinking about flying quite often. The TV show Mayday has been an excellent source for me. Although it is solely about plane crashes, I can't get enough of it. I actually think about all of those episodes and situations when I'm on board myself. I can't talk about them out loud of course, but they are rattling around my brain constantly, making every sound compelling and everyone on board a player in my theatre known as flight. Catch the show if you can stomach it and you'll know what I mean.
    There is quite a humorous side to flying as well, for me anyways... 
Stage one: Pre-boarding.. There's always the poor old lady who's at the wrong gate, shuffling by and lost. You feel bad for her but know that she'll make it somehow, yet you snicker. Then you see the guy who thinks he's late and runs up to the desk looking for his boarding pass, bags falling all around him and cell phone in hand, cutting people off and playing his 'I'm Important' card for everyone to see. He then quickly realizes he's early and glances up, slightly embarrassed, to the audience he has created. Asshole. He then pretends to look important and peruses his cell phone once again (pretty sure I've done this before). Finally, and this one tricked me, you see the desk manager grab the microphone and begin to announce pre-boarding for the various problem people and execs (frequently confused as being the same characters). Only you notice that there is no sound coming out on the concourse speakers so you smartly walk up and tell them that no one can hear them, proud of yourself and looking quite smug probably. They then cover the mic with their hand and lean in and whisper to you, " I know, I am taping this and will play it when we're ready, please take a seat..."...ouch..
Follow tomorrow in Part 2 as the discussion swings to 'Exit Seats, Delays and Random Seating'...