No Way Out

It would have been 1986 or '87, when at the time, one of my best friends Jason really opened my eyes to what a great movie is. I can remember being like any normal teenager, watching the Porky's movies and the Cannonball Run series, trying to see a little naked breast whenever possible and fitting in a little Pink Panther and Inspector Clouseau. But, the day Jason started introducing me to big time directors like Oliver Stone and musical scores by Ennio Morricone, my movie watching changed forever. Those of course were only examples of big names at the time, but it really showed something when someone was highly interested in these directors, producers and especially composers instead of just the actors or seeing some side boob. Jason was this 'someone'.
    We were still in the VHS era, had entered a small Laserdisc phase (those crazy big CD's) and would quickly find that DVD's were going to be the new rage. Jason started buying Empire magazine and would read up on all the latest news, then rent as many movies as possible on the week-end so our sleepovers weren't all about girl talk or complaining about our parents. I vividly remember watching the Kevin Costner thriller 'No Way Out' with Jason. We loved this movie at the time and I can still see Jason's face at the ending. His shock and amazement is still ingrained in my mind as the 'look' that one should have after seeing a great movie.
     The odd time early on we would get to the theatre and that was out of this world. We would hit Park Lane in Halifax as it was the newest at that time. On one occasion, I believe it might have been Oscar week or something, I can recall us both being completely fooled by a live mannequin (off topic I know). It was crazy, both of us going up to her and when she blinked on purpose because she thought we were going to reach out and touch her. We saw a lot of movies there in a short period of time once Jay got his license. It was only fitting that a screening of his first hit movie was played there to a packed house 20+ yrs later.
     Jason had a vision of what his future was going to be, but didn't quite convey it to us early on. Well, we didn't catch the drift I should say. He would later state quite frequently that he would be a big time director some day and I, like many others, would scoff or laugh it off to some degree. It's a great feeling for us (his old teenage buddies) to know that he has indeed made the big time now and that following him and remembering back to those days is inspirational.
    The movie that he is winning awards for as his directorial debut is called 'Blackbird' and I encourage you to look it up as well as Jason Buxton, just a regular dude from Chester, Nova Scotia. Well, not regular anymore.

Flying-The Finale

It's just before landing now and everyone has that look, the one where you notice them eyeing the overhead compartments, making their escape plans. Of course we all know that the only escape plan involves a snail like exit behind an assorted bunch of not so seasoned travellers. I have huge admiration for the ones who stay seated because they aren't in a rush, as I'm sure they have an equalled disgust for how little patience most of us have. The flight attendants are now hurriedly getting things organized, taking any loose garbage and telling people to put their chairs upright, oh, and to lose their big headphones, as it's a HUGE safety risk to wear them.... Really??... It would be quite the funeral though if you were laying in your casket and someone in the crowd whispered, "How did he die again?"..to which someone replies, "He didn't listen to the stewardess when she told him to take off his earphones and they choked him to death upon landing....everyone else survived..poor guy"..."oh and his seat was NOT in the upright position. I think this added to his problems.."....
    Laura and I had the not so pleasure once of flying in the last seats of the plane. I can vividly remember that our seats reclined approximately 3 inches, banging against the lavatory wall, when one of the stewards came up and gave Laura a hard time. It was comical! "ah m'am, I may look dumb but I know what I'm doing. Please put your seat in the upright position."..hahaa..the look on her face was priceless. That was the five hour trip where at the end my legs wouldn't unbuckle. I try to forget it.
    The landing is my favourite part. That sensation you get just before the wheels touch down on the tarmac, helped by the last little push of the throttle to keep the nose up a little as you land. Then the noise of the reverse thrusters and the first quick thoughts of your destination. Even though a lot of what I wrote seems a tad negative, believe me when I say that I love flying. All of those quirky incidents that I mentioned before are really what makes it interesting to me.
    Too tall to be a pilot and definitely not having the nerve to service people in the cabin, maybe I'll take up crash scene investigation or air traffic control!!...Yikes, you say?...

Flying-Airborn

Finally, what you paid for, actual flight. The average person doesn't usually even think twice about finally getting up there, but it's a freakin' miracle that you are soaring in the clouds. So many things have to be just right for your plane to be streaking across the sky and for those who appreciate it, paying a price you think is crazy seems a tad more to make sense than it did on the ground.
    As we were taking off, I was playing a game on my iPhone and the woman next to me glared at it like it was the detonator for a huge bomb directly under her seat. I could see her holding on to her armrest like it was the last piece of wood from the Titanic, as she floated hopelessly in the Atlantic. I calmed her down a few minutes in by pretending to make a call...haha.. Actually, I put it away and explained later that I had it in 'Airplane' mode (whatever that really means). I told her that if my phone could possibly be the culprit in bringing our plane down, then we had a lot bigger things to worry about. I think that made it worse for her, especially when I chuckled while saying it. We were finally up and levelled out.
    This is the moment where you hear a hundred 'clicks' and every nimrod who didn't whiz before the flight get up to use the bathro-..,washroo-.., tiny closet that I can only sit in to pee. I suppose that it is a moment that passengers who are afraid of flight might need after take-off though. I personally am not scared of flying at all, but will always ask the person next to me if they are comfortable or not before we leave. I need to know what I'm dealing with in case there are 'issues' during the flight. Is this person going to freak out? Will they need restraining? Will I have to knock them out before we go down? All pertinent questions I think. Once again I'm probably just making this person uneasy.
    Where's the food and drink? Oh yeah, they hardly serve anything anymore to the common folk. Last flight I had a choice between 4 salted almonds or a mini bag of multi coloured weird shaped objects that are supposed to be healthy. What are those things anyway?? Then I asked for my usual, tomato juice on ice, and kindly asked for the whole can as well. I got the 'phoofff' and the 'humphhh' from the steward as he reluctantly passed it to me. Seriously?! You can't spare that whole can of million dollar tomato juice?  It's going to break you when you have to use another can as mix for some old fart a couple seats back! I'll 'PHOOFFF' you alright!
    Just then I hear the intercom and it's the Captain of course, in that low, drool of a tone, "Thiiiiisssss issss yerrr Cap'n speakinnn. We arrre presently flyinnnn at ...... let's seeee, 32000 feet or sumthing like that..aaaaaaa" and he continues to draw it out for a while longer, explaining that all of the delays etc weren't going to be a problem for our landing time. I always question this. Why does it never effect our landing time when there are delays before the flight? I'll tell you why! Because, every flight could get to your destination quicker if they wanted to! They're messing with us! Using less fuel or flying at the most desirable altitude. It's not a four course meal at a high class restaurant. None of us want to wait for the entrée and enjoy our appy during the flight! We want to get there as soon as possible...and yes, I do love flying, remember that...
Final 'Flying' chapter coming soon-Landing, exit and baggage claim..

Flying- Part 2

Stage 2: Pre-Take-off  Now we're cooking. As I get past the couple with the over stuffed, so called carry-ons, the ones that they tried so desperately to fit in the overhead compartments and now will have to return for outside pick-up, I can see my aisle seat waiting for me. Of course there is someone in it. I politely nod and explain that they're in my seat, to which they give that Oscar performance known as the 'Oh I am so sorry, what was I thinking? Are you sure that I'm in the wrong seat?' act. To which I give the NOT so Oscar performance known as the 'Painful grimace and pretend thank-you' back to them. We exchange awards and sit down.
    Just as I get comfortable, Laura walks by me and makes her way to a seat somewhere in the back of the airplane. It's funny how her and I rarely sit together on a plane, yet we are a legit couple, years of 'couple' experience?! It's like we are improving our odds of a part of the relationship surviving if there should be a crash or something. Like we're the President and Vice President of our own company called 'Our Relationship'!! She usually chalks it up to scheduling or ticket buying discrepancies, but I chalk it up to only being 'fishy'. "Oh, I forgot to check us in last night. You're sitting in 3A with Sally Complainer and I'm in 22B with a good book. Sorry". Truthfully, it doesn't bother me near as much as it bothers her. I like to chat to people I don't know, she doesn't. This did all start though on a trip that involved bringing our dog, me conveniently sitting 15 rows away from her, with our puppy in a bread box at my feet, hyperventilating and trying desperately to poke her head out....fishy....
    One of our stewards walks by and I see that he's following protocol and heading straight for the exit aisle. I have been on hundreds of flights and this is probably the most entertaining exchange that you'll ever witness, the moment the Flight Attendant stares directly into the eyes of the lucky soul by one of the exit doors and asks, "If this plane should go down and in case of any emergency, are you able to handle the removal of this exit door and help others to safety?". Now just for reassurance, 99% of the time this person is NOT able to do this, yet 99% of the time, this person says, "Oh yeah, no problem". Thats a lot of pressure to put on anyone. It could be an 86 yr old woman with a cane or the older Chinese couple I witnessed on my last flight who spoke no english yet nodded and thought that together they could carry the 50 lb door. Maybe it's a 15yr old boy with teenage insecurities and soft rubbery noodle arms or even a healthy strong guy like myself, it's not the door that usually is the problem, it's the 'helping others' to safety that clicks and fizzes in their brains. Actually my first memory of one of these interactions did involve an older lady and a very stern stewardess. She asked her the usual and the woman froze for a second, then said, " Are you asking me or telling me?"...hahahaaa.. I busted up. She was one of the 1% that was honest and moved seats. In the case of the elderly Chinese couple, did the flight attendant really think that they were up to the task? I think not, but like many of these repetitive situations, protocol gave way to reality and the reality was that this attendant had many other things to do and knew that if the plane went down, all hell would break loose and this couple would not even factor in the end result......
Follow Part 3 tomorrow where 'In-Flight' takes centre stage....

Flying-Part 1

I love flying! Ever since I was a wee lad, flying has been in my blood. My grandfather on my mother's side was a war pilot and ended up being a Major General in the Canadian Air Force. I didn't take advantage of the experience and knowledge he had and realized after it was too late that I should have looked for work in the aviation world anyways. I still can, but as a 6' foot 8" dude, I won't be piloting any plane soon, as cockpit instruments don't take kindly to elbows and knees. As well, Laura loves to remind me that at the tender age of 43, while holding my paperbacks out in front of me at about 3 feet to read properly, seeing the altimeter or vertical speed indicator (important gauges) could be a nightmare waiting to happen for a plane full of passengers.
    So, rather than dwell on the fact I won't be piloting a plane, I take to reading, watching and thinking about flying quite often. The TV show Mayday has been an excellent source for me. Although it is solely about plane crashes, I can't get enough of it. I actually think about all of those episodes and situations when I'm on board myself. I can't talk about them out loud of course, but they are rattling around my brain constantly, making every sound compelling and everyone on board a player in my theatre known as flight. Catch the show if you can stomach it and you'll know what I mean.
    There is quite a humorous side to flying as well, for me anyways... 
Stage one: Pre-boarding.. There's always the poor old lady who's at the wrong gate, shuffling by and lost. You feel bad for her but know that she'll make it somehow, yet you snicker. Then you see the guy who thinks he's late and runs up to the desk looking for his boarding pass, bags falling all around him and cell phone in hand, cutting people off and playing his 'I'm Important' card for everyone to see. He then quickly realizes he's early and glances up, slightly embarrassed, to the audience he has created. Asshole. He then pretends to look important and peruses his cell phone once again (pretty sure I've done this before). Finally, and this one tricked me, you see the desk manager grab the microphone and begin to announce pre-boarding for the various problem people and execs (frequently confused as being the same characters). Only you notice that there is no sound coming out on the concourse speakers so you smartly walk up and tell them that no one can hear them, proud of yourself and looking quite smug probably. They then cover the mic with their hand and lean in and whisper to you, " I know, I am taping this and will play it when we're ready, please take a seat..."...ouch..
Follow tomorrow in Part 2 as the discussion swings to 'Exit Seats, Delays and Random Seating'...

Canada! Please win a Stanley Cup!

    Do you know what was happening the last time that a Canadian team won the Stanley Cup? Well, I'll refresh your memory. We had the first female Prime Minister in Kim Campbell and Bill Clinton was leading the grand US of A. It was $4.25 for a movie ticket and Jurassic Park was the big hit. A hugely popular TV show about a retired baseball player was having it's finale. Yes, we said good-bye to Ted Danson and Cheers after an eleven year run. The first Beanie Baby was born. Wait, this one's going to shock you, the WORLD WIDE WEB was officially introduced!! Yup, it was 1993 and the Montreal Canadiens were on top of the Hockey world after defeating the Los Angeles Kings and a young superstar by the name of Gretzky.
    Many a Leaf fan was disgusted that year as they remember too well that their superstar, Dougie Gilmore, was high sticked in the face by Gretzky with no penalty and ultimately would lose to the Kings. It would have set up one of the most anticipated finals in league history, a Montreal vs. Toronto showdown for the ages. Us Montreal fans didn't care who they met in the final though as it was a year of destiny. The powerhouse Penguins with Lemieux somehow lost to the New York Islanders, and Montreal, after being two down to the Nordiques in the first round, pulled out the first of their record 10 overtime wins and proceeded to beat them as well as Buffalo in the next round. The Islanders were no match in the conference final and the stage was set for their record 24th Stanley Cup. Montreal defeated the Kings 4 games to 1 with two overtime thrilling goals by John Leclair. It was the last year a Canadian team won the cup and incidentally the last year an all North American roster won the cup.
    I am a die hard Montreal fan, but as everyone around me could attest, all I want now is for Canada to bring back the cup. It's crazy to think that I have to cling to the winter Olympics every four years to bring me some Canadian joy. Hopefully the road to the Stanley Cup this year won't go through Toronto, but if it has to, I might do a little dance somewhere in honour of our true National Pastime. It is looking mighty good right now for my old Montreal Canadiens though. Go Habs Go!!...

Me & Stephen King

Or is it, 'Stephen King and I'?..hmmm..you probably want to get that right when musing about a writer. As far as fiction novels go, I have only read one author's books and Mr.King gets that honor. The very first one was The Dead Zone and it remains my all time favorite. It's brilliance was only reinforced by the movie as Christopher Walken mesmerized us as Johnny Smith. Since then (1985) I have probably only read a handful of his other work and a 'handful of books' isn't like a 'handful of change'. I can count them on one hand and twice I've read Different Seasons. That book, with four short stories, was a game-changer for me. Actually it was a game-changer for the world as two of the four became immensely popular movies, The Shawshank Redemption (Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption) and Stand By Me (The Body). Apt Pupil was also made into a movie but it didn't garner the accolades the other two did. It actually was my favorite novella of the four and I've probably read it 5 or 6 times. It is a powerful story, especially for a teenager.
    Only just recently have I picked up reading again! Yes, as my close family can attest, it's probably been decades since I've read an actual book. Two weeks ago I went back to my stalwart and read The Girl who loved Tom Gordon and Bag of Bones, finishing them in record time (for me). It's much different now however. I am focused on the stories and able to fly through them, yet the whole time something miraculous is happening, I am constantly thinking about writing now. I believe that is what is helping me get through them much quicker. It utterly amazes me what must go into writing a complete novel, or novella for that matter, and getting it to print! It is of course no coincidence that Bag of Bones is about a writer, but I am currently reading Everything's Eventual and my thinking is exactly the same. My mind is just swirling with ideas and I'm now taking to putting these on paper.
    As you can imagine, this newly found 'reading' thing, I keep ecstatically explaining to people as being so mind blowing, is garnering quite a few chuckles and rightfully so. All I know is that it's opened up my mind in a way that nothing has in quite a while. It could be my surroundings, it could be that I'm getting older, it could be that I'm drinking more water! It doesn't matter, I'm jumping all over it!.....